Vulnerable State of Mind...

     Lately it's been hard times. They say when it rains it pours. Well it's running at my door! If it isn't one thing, it's another. I'm so sick and tired of being stressed out. Lord please help me from this mess I'm in. Lord lift me over the hurt and pain. Deliver me from the rain. I don't want to stress over stress anymore. I don't wanna struggle no more! Every day, every night I pray. Lord help me find the way to stay strong and to keep my faith. So I can provide for myself. So I'll keep pressing on and on. Till I don't have to struggle no more.

     Be still and don't question it. These obstacles they were allowed to happen. He wants to take you higher and higher if you just hold on. God is willing and more than able. This did not catch him by surprise. So just trust in him and step aside! I know he's faithful. My God is faithful to do what He said He'll do. You must stand on His word, put all your cares on Him. God can work a miracle for you, you just have to let go and let God. Move yourself out of the way, move your pride out of the way. He'll never leave you nor forsake you. It's what I know...it's not just what I've heard.  

     This is the most raw and vulnerable blog I've written thus far.  I'm human!  I make mistakes!  I'm not perfect!  I may write things amazing but that doesn't mean I'm not still struggling on the inside.  I'm so tired of wearing a mask showing the world that I'm happy.  I'm tired of being fake at the risk of hurting someone's feelings.  So here's me saying...I am who I am!  Love all of me or don't love me at all cause with me it's all or nothing!  I'm tired of running away from my problems thinking they'll just disappear.  So I'm standing firm!  Praying...waiting...expecting...believing...trusting...knowing that MY God will see me through.  He didn't bring me this far to take me back again.

     I believe You alone can do this, for You are almighty and all knowing.  Open the eyes of my heart that I may know You and walk in Your ways.  Let the issues that need to be put to rest be ultimately put to rest.  Dispel my fears and draw me under the safety of Your wings.  Open my heart and tell me Your stories so I can know and understand Your purpose in my life.

     

Special People (in my life!)

People come into your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for a reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at any inconvenient time, the person will say or do something to bring the friendship to an end.

Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But only for a season.  

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people anyway and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

To all of my friends who may read this...thank you for being a part of my life!

Happiness . . .

Happiness is not the end of the road; it is the beginning.  As we become happier, we enter a new dimension of life that plants seeds for further spiritual growth.  Without the constant struggle and distraction of stress, anger, conditions and desires, our lives will unfold with greater harmony.  We have a choice!  We can learn to flow with life, with loving and patient acceptance, or we can struggle against it.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  We have the capacity to make this human experience all that it can be.  We have, within us, the resources to live a happy, fulfilled life.  Regardless of the challenges we may face!

Today was a beyond amazing day for me.  This month is Pastor Appreciation month at our church (well at any church really).  I was trying to think of something extra special to do for them.  So I said to my friend Kellie that we should show up at their house one day and offer to clean it for them and then make them dinner.  She was down for that idea 100%.  So we showed up earlier this afternoon (under false pretenses to begin with) and surprised them with our idea.  Sister Pastor loved it!  She was so geeked about dinner that she decided to invite 4 additional people (thus added to our cooking load) to dinner.  We cooked pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, carrots, salad, celery & onions, rolls and of course a cake for dessert (thanks for making that Cheryl).  There wasn't one complaint about dinner other than they were SO stuffed.  Sister Pastor loved it so much that she'd like us to come over and do it again.  I'm thinkin if she had her way we'd be over about once a week.  

All this goes to say that for me...it doesn't take a "special" month for me to know how much I appreciate my Pastor and Sister Pastor.  I've had the great privilege to be a part of their family and get to know them on a personal level.  They are two of the most amazing people I could ever know.  To know them truly brings happiness into my life.  They've helped mold me and guide me into the woman that I am today.  So to them I say Thank You!  Thank You for all you do and so much more!  I hope to be half the people the two of you are at your age in my life.  I don't know how you do all that you do.  I love you both very much!!!

I Am Thankful

I am thankful for everything I have experienced
In this life of mine
For in all I have found
That in His Word the answers I find

I am thankful for all the tears I have cried
For they have taught me to appreciate laughter
They have given me the ability to see
The joy that comes after

Through my tears I have come to know
His Holy Spirit in my life
How He is always there
And comforts through the strife

I am thankful for the storms I have encountered
Knowing that the rainbow is at the end
Realization that they are only temporal
That with time all will mend

I have learned that I don't need to be strong
For Yahshua supplies the strength for me
He shoulders my burdens
Regardless of what the circumstances may be

I am thankful for all the relationships
For the good, and yes, for the bad
For they have given life to my emotions
An appreciation of what I have had

My most valuable relationship
Is that with Yahweh, my Father
I know that I can trust him
As I can trust no other

I am thankful for the pain I've known
It has given a compassion for the suffering
An ability to reach out to others
An appreciation of little things

I understand the greatness of Yahshua's love
And the pain He has suffered for me
How He endured all things
So that I could be set free

I am thankful for the hunger and thirst
That I have had to go through
I appreciate having food before me
And sharing it with others

He has given himself as my food and drink
To make sure that I was fed
His Blood shed for my drink
And His Body broken for my bread

Most of all, I am thankful for His Grace
For the provisions that it brings
How it has provided for
Me in all things.